December 26, 2009

Barrett and I had a great first Christmas together! We spent it with a few of my grandparents, my mother, sister Shelby, and Barrett's daddy Matt. Barrett fell asleep after we only opened a few of his gifts. I thought about leaving them for him for when he woke up from his nap but I decided to open all the rest..I couldnt wait :) He wasnt all that interested in it this year. He got a really cute camo outfit and ofcourse I put it on him..so pictures to come later! Kind of glad Christmas is over, but I am kind of down about it too if that makes sense.

Well today I'm having a hard time emotionally. I feel anger, frustration, bitterness, and I'm finding I have less and less patience. I cant do a thing without my pelvic area being in alot of pain, aching bones all over, and I'm having some symptoms that I had before being diagnosed pop up lately, my bladder hurts everytime I go to the restroom(been treated for a UTI twice and it wont go away), tummy cramps up bad from almost everything I eat. That's another issue..eating. I have a hard time doing it. I just dont feel like it, and when I do its a very small amount. I know I need to, I have to but it's hard when you have no desire. I cried over my bowl of cereal this morning. I didnt want to eat it but had to force myself. I really dont know why it's such an issue. I get on the scale, 25 pounds lost so far, and am disgusted. I've become so weak, so fragile feeling, so small. It's just not healthy looking at all. I've talked to the doctors a little bit about it and they say just push food and milkshakes. I cant push food. I drink milk products and I'm throwing up a little all day from one milkshake(I'm lactose intolerant). This is so hard for me because before my life got turned upside down I was crazy for food. I would eat and eat and eat. And LOVED it! Now, I do know there are lots of people who have it worse, according to health. But I cant help but be upset, frustrated, scared, angry, in constant pain, and so very worried.

Think positive. That's something I hear alot. And at times I do. You try to walk in these shoes and then tell yourself "just be positive, it's half the battle". Way easier said than done. There's 1 person I know, by experience, she can relate. She doesnt tell me that, because she knows.

Another issue is my relationships. Seems alot are struggling. People just dont know how to act towards me I guess. And I dont know exactlty how to act either. A few people I have taken anger out on and I am so very sorry for that. I wish I hadnt, but I did, and I'm not proud. One person close to me thinks I should be handling all this different than I am. How does she know how someone should be handling having this terrible disease? My friends dont call much anymore or even come by much. One friend has come by several times and I'm so thankful for that. I do realize everyone has their own lives and things going on in them, but what people dont seem to understand is I love company. No not always, but in some weird way it helps me find some more strength that I wasnt sure was still there.

So far, I have not lost my hair again with this treatment (chemo called Topotecan). I have to admit everyday throughout the day I pull on it to see if it's falling out. I hope I dont lose it because my hair has grown out alot since becoming bald. But as I've told a few people, if I do lose it, I've lost it before so I can handle losing it again. I was originally scheduled to start my second treatment of this chemo the week after Christmas, starting this Monday, but the doctors and nurse wanted me to enjoy the holidays without chemo. So, I will start my second round on January 4th. I always get treatment alone; 3 times since May I've had someone sit with me. I must say it's pretty lonely. I look around the treatment room at everyone and almost every time it's people above 50 years old. It breaks my heart that I cant relate to any of these people. Some of them have someone with them everytime to support them and be by their side. I wish I did too. It's lonely sitting there in that green chair with poison running through my port into my body. I know it's what I need to do to, I pray, have more years on my life. Barrett needs his mommy just as much as I need him.

I want all of you to tell your babies today that you love them. Cuddle them, read them a book, and count your blessings. I'm so thankful for all of your thoughts and especially prayers. I hope all of you had a wonderful, blessed Christmas. Love you all!

December 21, 2009

It's been a while since I've been able to get on a computer and post! I have been doing okay..some days I dont think much about having cancer, other days it's all I think about. Alot of days like that I'm not very nice to be around..very snappy and short and rude. Needless to say all this has made it very difficult for my relationships. I feel like I'm on edge and stressed alot. I cant do normal things completely anymore, I get way too tired quick. I went Christmas shopping a few days back and got pooped out after 2 stores! I used to like to shop for hours!! :) I ordered Barrett an ornament for Baby's first Christmas and it turned out so cute! I've included a pic so hopefully you can read it, it's from my cell. Barrett is doing good! He's around 18 lbs. and I'm not sure how long he is but he seems tall to me with big feet!! He cut his first tooth a few weeks ago, front left bottom! I love seeing it when he smiles it's too cute!! He laughs all the time! Here lately though he's become this fussy whiny boy that he never was before. It makes it kinda difficult because he's never been the cranky type, but I'm thinking maybe it's just because he's cutting teeth. He's also sitting up! He still falls over after a lil while but he's got the hang of it and can catch himself alot of the time. He's not crawling yet but soon! He's such a cuddler :)

Well I had my first round of treatment for this go round on December 7th-11th. The first night was so rough. I couldnt sleep and felt very sick. I ended up throwing up several times and finally going to sleep at around 6:30am. The following days werent very bad. I felt pretty sick and didnt eat much and my energy level is very low. It's still low and I'm still not eating much at all. I try it's just very hard to eat when you dont want to or I would rather sleep. It's crazy because before I got diagnosed and even before I was pregnant everyone knows I liked, no loved, to eat!! Oh my, I could put back some food!! I had a friend who asked me where I put it all! LOL..I hope to get that appetite back! I have lost 20 pounds and continue to lose and it's very unhealthy looking and I just feel weak.

The emotional aspect of all this is I would say the hardest. It's especially hard thinking about my disease while watching my baby play or smile and laugh at me. It breaks my heart because I pray I get to raise him and watch him grow into a man for many of years! I sometimes feel like my mind is going crazy trying to completely grasp what's going on. Sometimes it's like an outer body experience, or that it's happening to someone else not me. Even though I am reminded everyday that it is infact me. I get mad and angry and do think why me. I think that's only natural. I dont exactly wonder why not someone else, but I do wonder why someone who wants so much to be a mom and to provide for my son. What about those women who abandon their child(ren). No I dont think they deserve this, no one does. But I just wonder sometimes..I can have strength some days that the good Lord gave me and others I can cry at a cancer commercial. I do believe the tears and pain and anger and strength and love is what is keeping me sane. All of it is part of the dealing with a traumatic experience thing, in my opinion. I'm sad that I have to go through all this and miss some of Barrett being an infant or not get to enjoy like a healthy mom can. But I am trying to fight with everything so I can see so much more of him! I do get frustrated, upset, stressed out, lose my patience, but he is the greatest thing to happen to me. I truly am blessed. Thank you to everyone who is still supporting me, whether it be near or from a far. Everyone's thoughts, prayers, and help is so greatly appreciated. I will tell you before I was diagnosed I really had no idea how many people love and care. I love all of you! Thanks for continuing in my battle with me. My strength comes from all of you, Barrett, family, and the great Lord. So remember when you are losing faith, stressing, or your heart is hurting, turn to Him. He will never forsake you. I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas!

Kim starts her chemo this Monday, December 7th, it will last around 30-60 minutes everyday through Friday, December 11th. Then she will have three weeks off then a week of chemo, three weeks off on so forth. This will be a good routine for her and she shouldn't get too sick we hope!

The doctors took two nymph nodes and one came back no cancer and the other came back cancerous. Dr. Capen has decided to add a new doctor to that specializes in small cell cancer to help out. Although Dr. Capen is still her doctor for her pelvic exams she now has a new Doctor that has joined her team. He is a specialist in small cell cancer and will be in charge of her treatments and meds that is needed to hopefully keep her cancer from spreading to any organs. This new Doctor was very blunt with Kim about treatments and if it should ever spread to any organs. Kim being so young we feel will help her fight this type of cancer.

Prayers and comments of encouragement are welcomed and all the support is what will help her continue this fight! WE appreciate all the prayers thus far! Love you all -

Pathology reports came in and the news was not what any of us expected...tests shows that the cancer is in the lymph nodes. Chemo starts in December a few weeks before Christmas. Doctor told Kim he is not sure if the chemo will work. As my brother says, The Doctors "upbeatness" last week was premature.

Continue to pray for Kim as she starts up her battle once again to fight this cancer...

Please check out the web page/fund my bother has set up for Kim! The funds raised will go towards her medical bills. Since she is unable to work at this time the funds donated will help tremendously! ANY amount will help and adds up...Check it out! We appreciate it!www.giveforward.org/fightforbarre

Surgery went well the cancer did NOT spread! We will know more specifics after the pathology report as far as if she will have to do any chemo. Doctors did tell my brother that Kim will always have to battle this type of cancer...but for now we will take this time to be thankful that it hasn't spread and Kim may get a little break from treatments!!! Thank you for all the prayers and support! Continue to pray for Kim and our family! Love you all!

Today Kim is at Scott and White having her hysterectomy. Please keep her and her doctors in your prayers and that we have good results...will keep you all informed as the week goes by and we get results. Thanks for all your prayers, support and love!

Kim had her pet scan on Monday and her results came in yesterday, October 27, 2009. The scan showed that her tumor is small and she does have cancer in her pelvic lymph nodes. On November 9, 2009 she will have a hysterectomy to remove the tumor and lymph nodes as well. WE are still not sure if the cancer has spread to any organs but the surgery should help us find this out. After the surgery she will start chemo again. We all have enjoyed the break from all treatments and Kim's hair even started to grow again! Although the surgery and starting up chemo again is a let down to Kim, we are very proud of her strength to get back up and prepare to continue her fight.

Barre is growing fast and smiles all the time, he is such a CHARMER! He lights up when he sees Kim and she lights up when she is with him...

Keep Kim and our family in your prayers as we support Kim and as Kim continues to
FIGHT FOR BARRE

Oct 15, 2009

Kim has had a few weeks off of any and all treatments which is nice since this means she is not getting sick! She went in to see her Radiologist few weeks ago and he found a mass, he felt that it could be from the radiation but wanted to make sure and sent her to Dr. Kapan, her Oncologist. Dr. Kapan decided to biopsy the tissue and the results came back that there is cancer cells in the tissue. Today Kim had a cat-scan to see what is going on so the Doctors can decide what the next plan of attack will be with her treatment.

Continue to pray for her strength to continue to fight and for a cure, I believe that Kim can be the percentage that does survive this type of cancer. Barre is growing everyday and he continues to be her inspiration...FIGHT FOR BARRE KIM!

We are all so proud of you and are all behind you, just take some of our strength when you need it, WE LOVE YOU!

September 23, 2009

I just went through almost all of the posts before this one and lots of the comments..wow, how it touches my heart how many people care and are supporting me and Barre. I really do read all the comments you all post. I am going to try to do better at posting.
Well, I am sick with an upper respiratory infection, feelin pretty crappy. But I'm on an antibiotic so I should start feelin better within a day or two. Just hope lil Barre doesnt get it! He is so precious! Yesterday he turned 5 months old!! He's about 14 1/2 lbs or maybe even 15. I do that stand on the scale with and then without him way of getting his weight LOL..it's actually pretty accurate within a few ounces. When I saw his pics from way earlier posts, I am wowed how much he's grown and changed! He is scooting around the floor in a circle and making all kind of new baby babbles. It's so funny, when he's eating his cereal sometimes he makes this noise like "mmm, mmm, mmm"..so cute! He did that alot tonight! Still working with him on sitting up..he's doin a pretty good job, just not on his own yet. I cant wait for us to get to go visit family in October! He will love it I'm sure! Sometimes I'm excited for the new stuff he's doing but at other times it's like, slow down dont grow up too fast! LOL..I love him so very much! He already has some nicknames he may not be too fond of later but we love them..Barre-man, Barre-cakes, Barre, Barrett Parrott, B, Barrett Jay said real fast :) Well I'm gonna go get some rest. Hope you all are in good health and doing well! Oh and Wendi, I am so excited you found me on here, how ironic..I would love to have your email address or something so I can chat with you. I am so blessed for the support me and Barrett get from all you guys. Lots of love!

September 20, 2009

UT fan in training

I know I havent posted in a while. I've been enjoying Barrett and kinda busy. I'm trying to enjoy everything while I have a break. Sometimes it's hard to when I get down. But right now I am not doing any treatment. The last radiation treatment was over a week ago, and now I'm just waiting on the nurse to call me to let me know when my MRI of my head will be this week. And then in about 3 weeks I will have a CT scan of my body to see if the cancer is gone or if it has spread.
Barrett is getting big! weighs about 14 1/2 lbs! He is almost rolling over and learning to sit up. We had a good weekend this past weekend with his G-Pa, Aunts Crystal and Alyssa and cousins Collin and Carson. Barrett really enjoyed the happiness and fun they brought! And so did I! Well just wanted to give a little update. Thanks for the continued prayers and love and support! Love yall!

August 30, 2009

Here are a few pictures from last week when we got Barre's pics done professional. They all turned out so good!! He was such a good boy while we were changing him many times and changing props and backgrounds; he just went with the flow. He's such a good lookin boy!! We also had his 4 mth checkup last week and he weighs 13lb 5oz and is 24 in long! He's gettin so big! His smile just melts me..it's contagious. He laughs in his sleep often and it cracks me up!

Well I go in to the hospital for internal radiation tomorrow morning at 6am. I have to go into surgery for them to place some tools and then I will go into a private room for anywhere from 24 hr to 48 hr so they can administer internal radiation throughout the day..just another part of my treatment plan. If you are unsure how internal radiation works, what it's all about, and you are curious, look up either internal radiation or brachytherapy..it's too in depth for me to get into it on here. I had 5 days of external radiation all last week and I am feeling the side effects from it this weekend. It's definately no fun, especially since before that I was getting my energy back up and loving food again. I'm not sure what the plan is after this. I think it's some more external radiation and possibly another internal radiation. Staying strong for my Barrett.

Thank you all so much for the support and prayers. I love you all. Thanks for continuing to help me during this battle.

August 21, 2009

I love this little boy so much!

Barre with his G-Nanny

Barrett's first girl friend, Miss Kinzee

My good-lookin boy!

Barrett is 4 months old!! Wow, how time flies! He is baby talkin so much now and smiling all the time. And he's laughing often..sometimes he laughs without even smiling or even funnier he will laugh in his sleep. He is definately my world. He's getting so big; he's around 13.5 lbs. We will find out for sure next week at his 4mth check-up. He isnt rolling over yet but I bet it wont be long, even though he does not like bein on his tummy at all. He recently started eating cereal and loves it so much! Then we added applesauce to it and he loves that too! He is getting so much personality! And a lil temper too LOL.. Well, I am doing okay. Better. I have started eating healthier and have cut out certain foods from my diet and that has seemed to help me feel a little more energized and a bit stronger physically. I am also putting a few pounds back on which is nice. The plan so far for treatment is radiation all next week and then in a few weeks internal radiation. I know the Lord is here for me and that's what is giving me strength, besides Barre :) and my great family and friends!

August 20, 2009

JUST WANTED TO POST A FEW PICS FROM ABOUT A MONTH AGO WHEN MY DADDY, SISTER CRYSTAL, AND HER SON COLLIN CAME TO VISIT ME AND BARRETT. WE HAD SO MUCH FUN AND CANT WAIT TO SEE THEM AGAIN!

August 18, 2009

I had lab work drawn yesterday to see if my counts, WBC, RBC, platelets, etc. are high enough to continue radiation therapy. The radiation doc's nurse called today to tell me it's all fine and that I need to go in tomorrow to see the doc and continue radiation. I find out tomorrow if I am just going to do the 5 treatments I missed or if we are going to do more..basically the new game plan. I am having a super tough day emotionally. I am weak physically, keep losing weight, have no appetite, have no energy, keep running to the restroom several times a day, and feel sick to my stomach. I am trying to be positive. I am blessed to have so many people who care and who are praying. Thank you all! Love yall!

YEAH!!! Kim got released from the hospital today! She still has to take it easy since her platelets are still low. She starts back radiation on Monday, August 17, 2009...UGH

Kim was really strong and got through everything; very proud of you Kimmie! Stay strong and keep God first! Many love you and are praying for you...

Barre and Kim

Just got back from Temple and Kim is trying her best to eat, but it just doesn't stay with her long, so frustrating for her. Her infection is in her colon and she is on an antibiotic IV. She drinks alot of water and does enjoy her sweet tea and we will bring it to her all day long if that is what she wants! :)


As you can see we had to wear mask and clean really well with antibacterial hand wash. They suggested no visitors but Kim really doesn't like the idea of being alone all day and night in the hospital room, so they allowed us to stay all day. She looked good considering the discomfort she is in and we talked alot and took naps together too! She managed to laugh some which made me so happy to see that, she is fighting to get better. Then she wanted to see Barre so her mom brought him in and as you can see he brought a lot of sunshine to the room!


Please continue ALL the prayers to keep her strong physically and mentally no matter what this disease throws her way. And pray for her mom, Karen taking care of Barre and Kim, and pray for our family and all those that are caring for her and Barre... It is appreciated!

Kim was admitted back into the hospital this afternoon. Her white blood-cell count is extremely low and she has been running a fever. So they stopped the radiation again and will be doing some x-rays and more test to see what is going on. She isn't feeling so good and hasn't eaten much all week. Pray that she will gain her strength back and that her body will be able to fight this infection and she will get stronger soon! I will be going to Temple to spend time with her tomorrow. Thanks for all the prayers...

August 5, 2009

Treatment has absolutely taken a huge toll on me. I feel like I cant do anything. It takes so much effort to fold a load of clothes or change a diaper or walk through Walmart for a few things, if I can even do that. I am struggling pretty bad physically and emotionally. I do not remember the last time I sat and had a meal with my family here at the house. It's so hard to eat. I just ask of you all to please continue to pray for us. I am so blessed to have such a support team. Every bone in my body aches and the tears wont stop the past 3 or 4 days. The anger is starting to hit. Not angry at anyone just angry. I know I need to keep fighting. Well on a lighter note, I have forgotten two things through all of this: what it's like to feel good, and what it's like to have hair. You think, hair? You've had that for 24 years how could you forget! You do! I sure do get ready a whole lot faster now though! Love yall!

August 4, 2009

Today was day 19 of radiation. And i am definately feeling the effects from it all. The last 4 or so days have been incredibly hard. Like Aunt Aprile said I went to the hospital for bad dehydration. I cant eat much at all and keep running to the restroom all day and all night. It's getting rough. Rougher than i have experienced so far. Emotionally it's terrible. Yes, i do cry often. I try to remain strong but it's hard to not cry. I havent been able to eat a meal since Saturday and i am nauseated and make runs to the bathroom all day. I have began to burn from the radiation kinda bad. I know it can be worse but it hurts somethin terrible. I am sorry for being a downer but i just want to keep it real with how i feel and what's going on. I am so thankful for the family and friends and their support. I read the comments you all leave and they touch my heart so much. My Barrett is so wonderful! I love him so much! It's unreal the love you have for your child! I have been so upset lately about not having the energy or strength and stuff to fully take care of him. It breaks my heart. But I know I am in this for him! In it to beat it! Here are a few pics of Mr.Barrett. I just love the way he looks in his cap! and the other pic is of him in the super cute pollo from Aunt Aprile! I love you guys!

August 3, 2009

Kim went into the hospital late Sunday night, August 2, 2009 and was released late Monday afternoon, August 3, 2009. She went in for dehydration since it is hard for her to eat and keep things in. Her doctor admitted her into S&W and gave her one day off of radiation. She has seven days left of radiation and will continue starting again in the morning, Tuesday, August, 4 2009. The radiation with the chemo really hit her hard but she is getting through it. Pray for her to continue to have strength and the will to fight, it is getting harder at this time.

Kimmie - Keep your fight for Barre, so you can hear many of his laughs...

Barre is still growing and started laughing out loud! He does bring sunshine to Kim especially now that he is smiling more too. Thank goodness Kim's mom is able to take care of Barre when Kim is at chemo, radiation or unexpectedly going in the hospital. Pray for the family as well so we can all be strong and help Kim through this.

Thank you all so much for checking on the blog and keeping Kim and Barre in your prayers. And to those of you that have joined and leave messages, THANK YOU, it means so much and helps more than you know... Love to all - Aprile

July 16, 2009

Today was day 7 of radiation therapy. 18 more to go. It hasnt been rough just been really exhausted all day long everyday. After this last chemo, last week, I have began to despise water. LOL..it's weird too because anyone who has been around me much knows I drink lots of water and love water! It's so nasty now! Thank you Crystal light lemonade!
Well my Barrett now is about 10 1/2 pounds! He's so good looking and keeps changing everyday! He's started coo-ing more and smiling while awake! He gave me the cutest sweetest smile today; it melted my heart! I'm not going to lie, he is such a joy to have around but it is hard at times. It's hard when I'm so tired and run down, naseaus, or just on days that I'm down in spirits and hurting emotionally. But he is what I'm fighting for. I'm fighting for me and him. He is my world and I wouldn't have it any other way. I feel so blessed everyday to have him in my life. I'm going to try to post now a few times a week. Thank you all who continue to pray for us! We love you! And thank you Aunt Aprile who created this blog for us! You truly are an amazing person in every way! And if any of you would like a "Fight for Barre" bracelet just let me know!

July 15, 2009

BARRE PUTTING HIS BABY TOES IN THE SAND ON THE BEACH!!!

July 15th

Hi Everyone! Well July is just flying by so fast! Barre had is first road trip to Port Lavaca for a family wedding! The pictures posted are of him and his mom Kim on their much needed get away!

Barre continues to grow as you can see and is such a good baby and a joy to his mom! Kim is still doing her chemo and her radiation started last week. Radiation is everyday for a few minutes for the next 4 weeks! Kim continues to amaze us with her strength to fight this. She has her ups and downs as well as good and bad days, and that is okay. The main thing is that she pulls herself up and goes forward; your my hero KIM!!!

Pray for her to keep focused on the fight for herself and Barre! Pray that she will continue to have the heart and strength to pull herself up on the hard days and that God will grace her with his love. WE love you Kim and when you need, just take our strength...it's here for you!

July 1, 2009

Kim and Barre are doing great! As you can tell Barrett is filling out and almost weighs 9 pounds!

Kim has a break from her chemo for another week or so and then radiation starts soon, but for now she is feeling good and enjoying Barrett! Keep her in your prayers to stay strong and for Barrett to keep growing strong and continues to be her inspiration!

FED EX just delivered the bracelets! They look great!

Kim’s Dad, my brother Jay, decided to shave his head as Kim was losing her hair! He has always been a great support to Kim and wonderful Dad! Jay and Kim on one of his many trips to Temple!

June 11, 2009

This week has been an interesting one! Kim will have her last day of chemo for round three tomorrow. Met with the Doctor today and he has decided that chemo will continue as it has on three days on week and off two weeks. He does however want to start radiation along with chemo; radiation will be everyday for fifteen minutes for six-weeks straight. He also said we will be doing the CT scan one day this week…So we will do this and keep strong! Pray that Kim will keep her faith and strength to continue to fight and pray that the CT scan will show improvement, at least no spreading of the cancer.

Kim is so excited about the blog page I am setting up for her and thrilled and touched (tears) when I explained to her how many were praying for her just through the weekly e-mails and how many want to respond encouraging messages to her. So I explained getting the blog up so all this can happen as well as the bracelets. Just so you all will know we have decided on “FIGHT FOR BARRE” will be the blog domain/name and the theme to all we do. (Bracelets, t-shirts). She loved this all and therefore we will go forth! Notice the attached picture…he has her checks!!! J

I have a friend that has a foundation already thought has been up and running for years. In early spring I was asked to be a part of this foundation which meant a lot to me. Tackle Cancer Foundation was founded by former NFL player Eli Alexander and he too has cancer and is a success story within it’s self. He is a great motivation to all and wonderful person and friend. He is happy to have us put Tackle Cancer Foundation.com on the other side of the bracelets so this helps us get the word out about not only his story and Kim’s but others. The foundation helps families that have kids with pediatric cancer (where my heart is) as well as families that have a parent with cancer with their finances as they go through treatments and travel for treatments. The foundation is growing and I am blessed to know and be a small part of this foundation. Sometimes I think GOD put us together for a reason…

Now, baby Barrett is doing great! We all call him Barre and he is so strong and handsome! I must say he is such a precious one and I do believe he knows me know when he hears my voice! LOL He had an eye appointment last week and all checked out…Continue prayers that he too will continue to grow strong and healthy and continues to amaze us with his health!

June 4, 2009

Well we had a great time with Kim and Barrett! Attached are pictures of Andra and Barrett, Aunt Aprile and Barrett, and Kim and Barrett! As you can see he just doesn’t get enough of kisses and holding time! I will admit I let him take many naps in my arms and Andra seemed to take over if I wasn’t holding him! OOPS!!!

Barrett is such a good baby and I do know that GOD is taking care of him. Thanks to you all as well for all the prayers for Barrett as you can see your hard work has paid off! He is adorable and has started smiling a little which is great! Continue to pray that Barrett will continue to grow strong and be a good baby for Kim.

Kim has Barrett are on such a great routine and she is such a wonderful Mom! She still gets tired but insist on doing the late feedings. She says that is their time together when they can just sit and talk alone without any interruptions. Then the early AM is when I got my time and it was great so she could get some hours of straight sleep and I got a lot of kisses and smiles and cuddle time! I LOVED every minute of it! Kim will start her third round of chemo June 8th and then a CT Scan is planned and Dr. Capen is already talking about radiation on the tumor. We will know more details after the CT scan. Continue to pray that the cancer has not spread and the tumor will shrink. Pray for Kim to have continued support and strength through all the treatments and the will to fight this cancer. As we all know, having a newborn is hard enough on hormones and sleep patterns much less adding cancer and chemo into the mix.

She plans to come stay with us in Dallas so her and Barre can have some time away and a small vacation; yes I am so excited and plan on spoiling the both of them! I am already getting their room ready! LOL

Still working on getting the BLOG up and going and I have ordered bracelets to wear that say “FIGHT FOR BARRE”, they are zebra bracelets for us to wear and to help remind Kim what she is fighting for! Encouragement and positive attitudes is what she wants to have surrounding her!

Thank you all and I can see that all your prayers are working and GOD is with us, you can feel it…

May 26, 2009

To all my prayer warrior friends, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, so much for all the continued prayers!
As you can tell by the photo attached, Mr. Barrett is looking GREAT!!! (notice his little overalls) He went home last Thursday, May 21st, 2009 and he decided to start opening his eyes a lot to see what is going on and who everyone is! He is adorable and a good baby boy! Continue to pray for his strength and growth!

Kim, finished her second round of chemo last Thursday, May 22nd and started feeling the effects immediately! The effects were very harsh and severe for her this time. She couldn’t take care of Barrett for the first few days but by Sunday, she was able to do a lot with him. It really upset her but now they are really making up for it. He lays on her chest a lot and she is such a great mom!

Her next round will be in two weeks then the CT scan…pray for her strength and continued will to fight, and pray the chemo is doing its job in shrinking the tumor and prevention of cancer spreading.

I will be helping out next week spending some girl time with Kim and getting baby kisses from Barrett! J

May 18, 2009

As you can see Barrett is filling out wonderfully and is right at 5pounds and he is going home Thursday, May 21st! He will be a month old on May 22nd! Good Job Barrett! I appreciate all the prayers for him and please pray he will continue to grow strong and healthy! Thank you GOD for Barrett’s progress and all the prayers from wonderful friends near and far!

Kim has started her second round of chemo today, May 19, 2009 and it will be an eight hour round very long compared to the first rounds.
She has had her wig for a week now and it looks fabulous on her! It is amazing how close it looks to how her real hair was. What a great service the cancer foundation offers for cancer patients, wonderful service. I have attached a picture of Kim and Barrett. Continue to pray for her strength and will through all of her treatments as well as a cure. She is such a wonderful positive mom!

I appreciate you all sharing this journey with us and your prayers are so powerful and give us such strength! Please continue and I love you all and even those of you that are praying for Kim and Barrett that I haven’t even met, thank you.

May 11, 2009

Well we had a good week last week, as Barrett is now weighing 4lbs and 4 oz!!! They took all tubes out this weekend and he is doing great! The only thing is they are trying to get him out of the incubator and he isn’t holding his temp where it needs to be on his own, so he is still in the incubator. We will pray that he continues to get stronger and his temps will regulate and his weight gain will continue.

Kim had a great first Mother’s Day with Barrett yesterday and is still staying at the Ronald McDonald house, very convenient just across the street from hospital. She was a little shocked that her hair did start coming out so soon. As we all thought, it would happen after her second treatment, but her chemo dosages are very strong so perhaps that is why it is already. She is very open to having a wig and will meet with the lady that does this for cancer patients! We are trying to decide if blondes do have more fun and maybe she should try blonde! Our way of joking! Reality hit her as to what is going on and she knows she wants to fight for Barre. I am proud of her attitude and although she has her days of reality and what is happening to her, she seems to pull herself up. Kim told me this weekend she was really just ready to get the chemo going and really “tackle” this and the waiting is hard. With that said chemo starts early next week so she is looking forward to having a good week this week since the tiredness has subsided and she feels as close to normal as can be expected.

Thank you all and continue to pray that GOD will grace Kim with strength and the will to fight as well as help her not fear what is ahead of her.

May 4, 2009

Kim finished her first treatment on Sunday, April 26th and was feeling pretty good. The doctors released her Tuesday, April 28th, and she moved into the McDonald house to be close to the Barrett and to be treated as an outpatient. Getting out and moving around helped her a lot, but on Thursday, April 30th her birthday, the chemo decided to hit her. Food tasted different and then she felt so tired and very sick to stomach. Karen, her mom, gave her meds for the side effects which in return “knocked” her out; so a double edged sword.

But the decision was to go ahead and have her baby shower as planned on Saturday, May 2nd, she was determined to go. Saturday came and the chemo effects had subsided all except for the tiredness. But, she looked great and laughed and had a great time with her friends and family! Great turnout and so many great things for baby Barrett! It was a good day for us all including Kim to just think about Barrett and cute baby things!

Her next round will be May 15th for three days…I will go in and stay with Kim at McDonald house so Karen can go home some and have time to do things around her home and perhaps take a deep breath as well. Andra will probably join us as so we can all have some girl time!

As for Barrett, he is doing great so great they had to start giving him more formula! He is so precious and I got to hold him and he only has one tube left! He got very comfortable with me as I was talking to him and telling him all about things that he opened his eyes and looked at me, and then he “pooped”! And yes, I got to change him! I was nervous since it has been awhile and he is so tiny but the nurse supervised me! LOL Well we had a bonding moment regardless…

As you can see by the picture attached… he has me around his little finger and then some...

Please continue all the prayers that Kim stays strong in her fight as in her faith and that Barrett will continue to grow strong for us and surround them both with God’s grace and love!

April 26, 2009

My 24 year old niece Kimberly is from Lampasas, Texas and she was 7 months pregnant, when we found out that she has small cell cancer in the cervix which is a rare and aggressive cancer therefore, the baby had to be taken immediately. This was last Monday, so I dropped everything and went to Temple Texas at Scott & White to be with my brother and niece. The baby was born Wednesday, April 22, 2009 by c-section. Barrett Jay weighs 3lbs 11 oz and is 15 1/2 inches long and is doing great! The doctors at Scott & White have a team on him and he is in NICU but they are so pleased with his progress. He didn’t require a breathing tube and is breathing on his own with oxygen mask to help make sure his lungs are at full capacity. Barrett took his first bottle Friday and it is amazing he is already doing that! I believe GOD is taking care of him and he is a strong Shaw baby! And of course he has stolen my heart! My request is to pray that he will continue to grow strong for us and his mom Kimberly!

Kim is a different story, the next day on Thursday they did a pet-scan on Kim and put her port in to prepare for her chemo treatments to start on Friday. The Dr. Capen, oncologist, was very honest with us and right to the point of the results. The cancer is in her cervix and pelvic lymph nodes but had not spread to any organs. He explained the cancer is aggressive and that her tumor is 6 inches which is very large. There is no cure for this cancer but there is treatment for the cancer. The plan is to do three rounds (nine weeks) of chemo and radiation and then do a ct-scan to see where we are. Survival rate is low but since she is young we are all being very strong in faith and in the fight. Dr. Capen just reminds us that this is her fight with him and they are going to go at this as aggressively as he can and perhaps we will be a success rate for this type of cancer. My request is to pray to give Kim the strength and will to fight this cancer so she can raise baby Barrett. She is already a great mom with all the pain she has been in.

The Ronald McDonald House has been amazing to all of us! They have set up rooms for family to stay while Barrett is in the hospital and when Kim gets out of the hospital to do her treatments as an outpatient; as long as the baby is at Scott & White they have set Kim and her mom a room up there so she can be close to him. They are great and I never realized just how great until last week! The support and love they have given to us has been so touching especially when you’re out of town and tired.

I have sent a picture of Barrett holding his Aunt Aprile’s finger and my brother’s hand! I just love them both and pray for a cure. We are all wearing zebra ribbons since cervical cancer is teal blue and zebra.

Again, to all my prayer warrior friends, pray for Kim and Barrett and feel free to add her to any prayer list you’re a part of. I do believe prayer and faith makes one stronger during the fight and cures many!